FacebookI don't think so
by CharmingEnchantress
Summary: Hey guys...my first actual fanfic. So Hephaestus discovers Facebook, a mortal social networking site and Hephaestus and Athena suggest everyone to join it. Not knowing what the consequences will be...Humor. I suck at summaries, but well please try I'll upload once or twice everyday. Rated T just because I wanted it to be rated T...
1. Chapter 1

**Facebook, I don't think so...**

**Chapter 1- You gotta love Hephaestus…**

**Hephaestus P.O.V**

I yawned clearly audible in response to Athena's lecture on the need for all of us to connect to the mortals. Well I guess I'm not the only one who is doing anything except paying attention to Athena.

Zeus is looking at his reflection in his lightning bolt. Poseidon is making horses out of foam, (how the hell he managed to bring foam to the throne room). Hades Is invited too since Hestia convinced everyone that in order to maintain peace we mustn't leave anyone out. So ultimately Zeus gave in to Hestia and invited Hades to the meeting which was so called urgent. (Athena's words not mine.)

Anyways Hades was sitting on his throne at the far left while Dementer shouted at him about being a gloomy, depressing death breath that doesn't deserve any cereal in his life. Hades looked delighted about the cereal part.

Apollo and Artemis are arguing about who is older, if you were deaf, and then too you had a pretty good chance of guessing so by the golden and silver colored arrows flying around the room. Hermes is confronting George who is insisting on getting a rat for his amazing work. Dionysus is snoring loudly with a diet coke in his hand slouched on his throne.

Hera is just shaking her head looking at her messed up family.

Aphrodite is looking at herself in the mirror while her other hand is clutched with Ares's hand. Ugh…I hate these two. Aphrodite is such a lying cheater in the name of a wife. And that eyeball- less freak who knows nothing other than to spill blood. Ahh.

'Guys…listen' I shouted as loudly as I could, obviously nobody listened.  
'Mighty gods of Olympus…' I said this time in a much lower voice and everyone stopped doing whatever they were doing and looked at me. Huh...What a bunch of egoistic stuck up immortals.

'Thank you Hephaestus…at least you got everybody attention...' Athena starts to say, 'So as I was saying, to connect with mortals we much adapt to what they do, maybe read their books. Have you ever tried the Harry potter series? They're about a bunch of wizards…' Athena continued and looking at her I knew it was high time someone stopped her or there would be another endless lecture.

'Athena…' I cut her off, 'I didn't intend for you to start again…And by the ways why the hell would we want to read a book based on a school full of children of Hecate.**( A/N- She's the goddess of magic.) **I wanted to stop all of you from fighting and shouting or doing whatever it is you're doing, you're giving me a migraine.' I say holding my hand up to my head. But as I should have thought, nobody cares…they started shouting and fighting again.

'Ha, Athena…see nobody wants to listen to your stupid lecture…You are such an owl face.' Poseidon says, probably because he saw a really nice chance of annoying Athena and probably because he had finished making a white stallion out of foam.  
'What do you know Kelp head? Nothing better than making stupid foam toys.' Athena replies in a mocking tone.  
'How dare you insult my horse…it's beautiful.' Poseidon says, getting up from her throne.  
'Well not anymore…' Athena says as she takes out a dagger from her armor and cuts the foam horse into half. Silence.  
'HOW DARE YOU?!' Poseidon shouts as he jumps over Athena trying to pin her down with her own dagger. Huh…usual Olympian drama.

I take out my laptop from my bag, clearly seeing that things are obviously not going to get any better.

Connect with mortals you say Athena…well it's not a bad idea. Though it's not going to be easy. I open the World Wide Web and open a very popular mortal site- Google. Within a flash of my eye a white webpage with a search bar appears in front of me. I think of what to type. Hmm… what should I write? How to phrase this question appropriately?

I start typing…Top 10 mortal social sites. No…the mortal doesn't sound good, I remove it and search for Top 10 social sites.

Immediately a list of websites comes in front of me. I choose the first one and a webpage opens in front of me with a list. On the first number there is a site named Facebook.

Hmm…what an odd name, nevertheless I search about it and…Oh boy! This is good.

Not wasting my energy this time… I directly shout, 'Mighty gods of Olympus…' They all look at me. I smile…  
'Have you heard about Facebook….?'

**Guys...please review...good, bad, awful, awesome please tell..**


	2. Chapter 2

**Replies to the awesome reviewers and virtual blue cookies to all. (::) (::)**

**Rainbowchameleon**\- **You got that part right sister!**

**sentimental-obsessed**** – dude! Harsh.**

**Spiesareawesome- You're awesome! And love you for the review.**

**TheDarkKnight1991- Thanks for the review. Really appreciated and I don't mind constructive criticism at all. And yeah the gods will be a little out of character, so they fit to the story like I want them to. And about Aphrodite, She openly admits that she does not like Hephaestus and loves Ares..(As If!) And about Things being in Hephaestus P.o.v, I just wanted to catch his experience when he discovers Facebook. But this chapters in nobody's P.O. , yay!**

**Facebook…I don't think so…**

**Chapter 2. - Of walls…and pages…and Friend Requests**

**Nobody's p.o.v**

'_So guys, have you heard about Facebook?'_

Everybody was staring at Hephaestus. He smirked seeing that obviously he had got everyone's attentions.  
'What are you talking about?' Athena asked curiously.  
'Athena doesn't know something?' Poseidon said with mock shock on his face. Athena glared at him.  
'Hades! You are one big kelp head, aren't you? Do you know what it is?' Athena said already clutching her dagger in case things got dirty.  
'Uh, I'd certainly prefer if my name wouldn't be used as slang.' Hades said appearing from the shadows behind Aphrodite who shouted from the sudden surprise and sprayed perfume over his face.

Before chaos would ensue again, Artemis spoke up. 'Okay, I think so the fact that none of us has any idea about this Facebook thing is established and we can move on with our lives again. So can we please let Hephaestus speak?' Artemis finished with a scary tone so everyone naturally obliged.

'I thought about Athena's advice on connecting with mortals and their lifestyle and so I went online and found out that Facebook is the most popular social networking site and its really cool.' Hephaestus explained.

Apollo raised his hand, uh-oh!  
'I feel a haiku coming up,' everyone groaned.  
'Hephaestus found Facebook  
which is cool  
but I'm cooler.'

'That was the most horrible haiku I've ever listened to, and don't even get me started on how many syllables each line is supposed to have.' Artemis spat.

'Anyways,' Athena cut off Apollo who had just got the perfect answer back to Artemis, 'I think the idea of Facebook is great. Connecting with mortals and knowing how they live and what they think about us is essential plus we'll also be able to look on what our kids are doing.

That got everyone's attention. The very mature gods loved to poke their immortal noses in their children's business.

'Hmm…so how does this Facebook work? Do we have to give some drachmas or something?' Zeus asked.

'No. It's pretty simple actually. You fill in your details to create an account. You give your name, email idea and display picture and you can post any type of stuff for people to see. And you can add friends with whom you can chat online and share stuff with. So how does it sound?' Hephaestus finished and waited for the idea to sink in.

'That's awesome! Now I can show off my newly upgraded sun chariot to the mortal and immortal world. Oh wait! I have a haiku for this…  
I got sun chariot  
behold people of Facebook  
I am awesome.' Apollo grinned, obviously proud of his awesome haiku (Not).

'Yeah…about that. See everyone can see anything you post or display and even the mist can't stop it. So I'd suggest if you want to blend in with the mortals, please don't put any kind of abnormal photo like flying through the sky or driving the sun.'

'Well I think it is absolutely wonderful and by that way I can spread knowledge in the world.' Athena said.

'It's decided then. All the Olympians shall make Facebook accounts today and will add me as their friend.' Zeus announced.  
He received an are-you-kidding-me look on the friend request part.  
'What? I'm the king of the gods.' He replied nonchalantly.  
'Oh my brother, my stupid egoistic brother.' Poseidon said shaking his head slowly.  
'Hey!' Zeus shouted.

'And I guess this is the end of the meeting. So people please go home and enjoy the magic of Facebook.' Athena said and teleported herself to her Bedroom.

As soon as Athena teleported herself to her room, she went and sat down on her chair and opened her laptop.

Well Athena being Athena didn't just open the site. She opened Google first and researched about Facebook. And she was impressed. She read about every feature of Facebook in detail and searched its history back to its creation. She also got to know that Facebook is considered to be one of the most addictive sites. _As if! We're gods; we can never be addicted by some puny site. _Athena thought to herself. After being satisfied with the amount of research, Athena finally opened Facebook.

The details were easy.  
Name- Athena  
Age- this was difficult since they had nothing even close to 7 millennia, so she finally settled for 36  
E-mail- wiseowl (A/N- Not a real e-mail I.d )  
Gender- Female

After clicking sign up Athena was greeted by some procedures in which she uploaded her profile picture. Remembering Hephaestus words she went for a photo in the central park with a business official suit on. She liked and followed some sensible pages like, biggest discoveries of the century, the myth magic, and Stephen Hawking. As soon as she was finished with the procedure she received some friend requests.  
From:  
Flaming Apollo- _Who keeps such a name- _Athena thought.  
Artemis  
King Zeus- Really?  
Hera  
She accepted all and started to browse through Facebook. And she didn't feel like logging out.

**Good, bad, awful, awesome? Please review. **


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